A Source of Encouragement
What is a caregiver coach?
A caregiver coach is someone who provides support to caregivers and helps them navigate the stresses that come with their responsibilities. As a result, caregivers/carers are better able to make informed decisions to meet the challenges of providing care for a loved one.
Who is caregiver coaching for?
Caregiver coaching is for the caregiver/carer: the spouse/partner, family, friends.
It is also for the professional: end-of-life doulas, hospital doctors and nurses, GPs/family physicians, community nurses, hospice staff and counsellors, social workers, social care staff, chaplains, physiotherapists, occupational therapists, complementary therapists, etc.
As a caregiver coach, I am a source of encouragement and will help you:
- find your inner strengths and resources and resilience
- lessen the confusion and reduce your workload and stress
- set boundaries
- navigate the journey to ensure you and the one you love is taken care of.
- be resourceful and strong in whatever that way is for You!
I have been there. I am there.
My story, as a caregiver
My name is Tamelynda Lux and I have been a caregiver for many years, first to my grandmother (who died over a decade ago) and now for aging parents, and a spouse. I understand from first-hand experience the emotional roller coaster of being a caregiver navigating life at home, the healthcare system, and community resources. Caregiving can feel demanding and very isolating. It’s often a lonely job, frustrating, and exhausting.
Recently, my husband has experienced a number of falls. It was scary — for both us. And sometimes the conversations about safety aren't easy. I recall the first conversation when I insisted on removing the decorative mat in the bathroom, fearing he would trip on it and how upset he was, insisting he would not trip; I removed the mat anyways. Today, months later, while bathing, he slipped trying to get up from a sitting position and out of the tub. Fortunately, I heard him and was able to help. He finally agreed to some assistive devices for bathroom safety, appreciating how it will make bathing easier. Every day is a *new* day for learning what he is still capable of doing, even if it's slower than how he used to do things. We consider the areas of decline but don't dwell on them, choosing instead to look beyond the DIS-abilities and focusing on his continued ABILITIES.
You likely know the saying, “put on your oxygen mask first before helping someone first.” I have to consider this every day for me. I remember how difficult it was for my grandmother when she was primary caregiver for my grandfather, to take time for herself. Once she experienced the benefits of even taking a half-day (usually Saturdays and Sunday for church), she found a way to make it work. My grandfather seemed more relaxed too, having had someone else "visit" for a few hours, knowing his wife would soon return.
Taking care of you, the caregiver
While there may be similarities, every one of my clients has unique strategies for what that "oxygen mask" looks like or experiences like for them. And that's okay.
The important thing is to know you do not have to do this alone.
Just having a conversation with someone who understands or can appreciate what you're going through, without judgement, can be helpful.
You matter. Your voice matters.
I am willing and available to listen. And offer guidance, if that's what you want. I am available to brainstorm options and choices to help you get through today, tomorrow, the next day, and the day after that.
How this can help you
With over 30 years of experience, I have invested my career supporting individuals as a life coach and then evolved my private practice to include hypnosis for life issues and concerns, end-of-life support, and grief and bereavement coaching/counseling. This means I draw from a wealth of strategies, learnings, and experiences so that I can help you in the most beneficial way for you.
With training and experience in life coaching and caregiver coaching, along with 30+ years of one-on-one and group experience, my approach is client-focused, listening to your needs and goals to find the key to helping you. I take the time to listen to your concerns and am known for that.
Together, you and I will develop a plan for your specific situation so that you can secure the best possible improved situation for you and your loved one. We can also talk about sibling issues, family drama, and your feelings about that. And we can also talk about any guilt you are feeling for decisions you are making and how to manage or release that guilt. Would it be great to have greater peace of mind, peace in the heart, and perhaps even peace of soul? Of course it would!
As your caregiver coach, I can help you find and put on your oxygen mask first, to empower you so that you can better deal with the ups and downs of caregiving, engage confidently with medical professionals, and help you find time for you.
End-of-Life Issues, Concerns & Care
End-of-Life Choices
End-of-life choices and medical decisions have complex psychological and social components and consequences; these decisions are often stressful and have a significant impact on suffering and the quality of living and dying. Hypnosis offers a way to move forward with less stress and with a positive impact on the quality of living and dying.
Along with palliative care specialists, critical to end-of-life care, there’s a relatively new approach for supplementing integrative health care the at deserves mentioning: end-of-life hypnosis which encompasses both holistic and clinical aspects.
End-of-life hypnosis offers an exceptionally focused, unique supportive care approach. It can be a powerful complementary therapy for individuals nearing end-of-life and while not a cure for any disease or illness, it addresses the mind-body concerns of the dying in a non-medical and holistic manner.
How is hypnosis conducted? Hypnosis is performed by a trained practitioner who uses verbal cues to create mental images, whereby a state of calm and relaxation is induced to help the patient to cope better with anxiety or pain. I am certified in the specialty of end-of-life hypnosis.
How does hypnosis help with end-of-life issues or concerns?
Hypnotic coaching for issues and concerns relating to serious illness or end of life including forgiveness and release of unresolved emotions.
- Not Dying Alone – Feeling more connected to others and to a bigger sense of spiritual presence is possible by exploring one’s inner peaceful aspirations.
- Reducing Pain or Discomfort – Complementing medications, hypnosis can help one become more comfortable by helping one hypnotically regulate how one feels about pain or another discomfort.
- Lowering Excess Anxiety or Improving Sleep – Learning the skill of self-hypnosis, more powerful and quicker than meditation with growing scientific support for this mind-body therapy (Globe and Mail, 2017), can help one better cope with changes in environment and treatment protocols.
- Finishing Personal Affairs – There are often outstanding past, present, and even future concerns like conflict, losses, and disappointments which can be resolved intimately and privately in one’s own mind.
- Accepting Dependence on Others – By cultivating self-worth and self-care, one can gain a sense of control over thoughts, feelings, and sensations.
- Embracing Acceptance and Peace of Mind – This approach allows for creating a safe space with a qualified practitioner to talk about fear, guilt, and other emotions.
- Releasing Fear of the Unknown – It is possible to gently explore intimate thoughts and guide one through a death rehearsal to help alleviate fear.
Support is available for the individual who is dying, caregivers (informal/family/friends and formal), end-of-life practitioners (doulas, hospice workers, PSWs, etc.), anyone connected to the end-of-life journey.
Imagine the right combination of relaxation, meditation, visualization, hypnosis, and self-hypnosis, allowing you to feel greater inner peace.
I have been supporting clients since 1988, actively involved in supporting families (as executive director for a national non-profit supporting corporate families in business) and seniors-related activities (at church and as a community member on the board of a non-profit in long-term care specializing in dementia/Alzheimers). In 2017 I fully transitioned to hypnosis and hypnotherapy, in 2019 I specialized in both end-of-life hypnosis and as an end-of-life doula. In 2020, I pursued additional training in hospice care and trauma resilience for the individual and community
